Etiquette
The awkward questions,
answered plainly.
Most etiquette writing is either a list of Victorian rules or a shrug. These are the genuinely hard situations, with an actual answer and the words to use.
01
One principle underneath all of it.
Nearly every etiquette problem in this section is really the same problem: a decision was made but never stated clearly, so a guest filled the gap themselves. Children turn up because the invitation did not say. A plus-one appears because the envelope was ambiguous. Someone is hurt because nobody told them, and they found out from a friend.
The answer is almost always the same shape — decide, say it plainly and early, apply it to everyone, and do not explain your reasoning. Reasons invite negotiation; a stated decision does not.
02
The guides.
How to say no children
Wording that is unmistakable without being cold, where to put it, and the conversations that follow.
Most readSeating divorced or estranged family
Give everyone a place to be rather than a place to avoid. Ceremony, top table, reception and photographs.
How to cut the guest list
Cut categories, never individuals. The rules that hold, and the one device that ends the argument with parents.
Telling someone they're not invited
The conversation, the wording, and the three things that make it worse.
03
The wording these need.
Adults-only wording
Lines you can lift straight onto a details card, by formality, with notes on where each belongs.
Dress code wording
What each code is actually understood to mean, and how to signal a formality that has no standard name.
Plus-ones
Deciding the rule is the easy half. Saying it on the invitation is the half that prevents the arguments.
A note on what we are not doing here. Two of these pages have no product at the end of them, because there is no honest one — somebody deciding who to cut from their wedding is not shopping for stationery. We would rather write the useful version and leave it at that.
If you are facing a situation none of these covers, write to us — we will give you a straight answer whether or not there is anything in it for us.