The Guest Handbook

The replies stopped.
Now what?

If you are reading this with a deadline close and a list half-answered, start with the triage below. The diagnosis matters, because the three reasons replies stall need three different responses.

My guests aren't RSVPing. What should I do?

First work out which of three things is happening: they never received it, they received it and could not easily reply, or they replied somewhere you are not counting. Fix the cause, then send one reminder to the non-repliers only, naming the deadline and the reason for it.

Triage, in this order.

Do not send another reminder until you have done this. If the invitation is not arriving, a reminder does not arrive either.

Did it actually arrive?
Check delivery, not sending. An email invitation to a large list will always have some bounces and some spam placements, and a posted one will have wrong addresses. If you cannot see per-guest delivery, ask three people across three domains whether they got it — if any did not, the problem is delivery and no amount of chasing fixes it.
Is replying genuinely easy?
Open the invitation on a phone as a guest would. Count the taps to a completed reply. If it is more than two or three, or if it asks a guest to work out whether they are replying for one person or four, you have found your answer.
Are replies arriving somewhere you are not looking?
This is more common than it sounds. Some guests reply to the invitation email, some text a parent, some tell you at a party and consider it done. If replies live in four places, the list will always look worse than reality. Consolidate before you conclude anything.
Only now, remind.
Once you know the mechanism works, send one reminder to the people who have not replied, naming the deadline and why it exists. Then follow the schedule on the RSVP chasing page.

A caution about panicking early. Replies do not arrive evenly. They cluster immediately after sending and again in the last few days before the deadline, with a long quiet stretch in between that feels like failure and usually is not. If you are in the middle of that stretch, the correct action is the two-week reminder, not a redesign of your whole approach.

Symptom, cause, fix.

What you are seeing	Most likely cause	What to do
Almost nobody has replied, including close family	It did not arrive, or it went to spam	Check delivery per guest before anything else. Ask three people directly.
Older guests have replied, younger ones have not	Replying takes too many steps on a phone	Send those guests a direct reply link, not a general one.
Replies came in a rush, then stopped dead	Normal. You are in the quiet middle.	Send the two-week reminder to non-repliers and wait.
People say they replied but you have no record	Replies are landing in several places	Consolidate into one list, then reconcile before reminding.
Whole households replying as one person	The invitation did not make the household clear	Confirm numbers per household explicitly — this one distorts catering badly.
Plenty of yeses, no final number	No deadline was stated, or it passed unremarked	State a date and the reason for it. A deadline with no consequence is a suggestion.

The number you actually need.

It is worth separating two things that get muddled under pressure: the number of people who have replied, and the number of people you can confidently seat and feed. The second is the one the venue wants, and it is not the same as the first until you have resolved households, plus-ones and the people who said yes verbally to someone else.

If you are close to a deadline, spend your remaining effort on converting unknowns into knowns — including converting them into a firm no. A confirmed no is worth exactly as much as a yes when you are building a seating plan. Silence is the only answer that costs you money.

Common questions

How do I know if my invitation went to spam?

You usually cannot know from your side unless you can see delivery per guest. The practical test is to ask three guests on three different email providers whether it arrived, and to check whether the non-repliers cluster on one domain — that pattern is the tell.

Should I just call everyone?

Not first, and not all at once. Calling forty people is a very expensive way to discover that the invitation went to spam. Diagnose, fix, remind, and then call whoever is left — which should be a handful.

What if I need the number tomorrow?

Count confirmed yeses, add households you are certain about, and treat silence as no. Tell the venue that figure and ask what their latest change window is — most will take a small adjustment closer to the day, and knowing that window is worth more than another day of chasing.

See who has replied and who has not, in one list.

Most of the trouble on this page comes from replies living in several places at once. The guest platform included with every Evorrah commission keeps one live list, per guest and per household, with delivery visible.

See how guest replies work

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The methodHow to get guests to RSVP Get the households rightOrganising a guest list by household The handbookAll guest guidance

Triage, in this order.

Did it actually arrive?

Is replying genuinely easy?

Are replies arriving somewhere you are not looking?

Only now, remind.

Symptom, cause, fix.

The number you actually need.

Common questions

See who has replied and who has not, in one list.

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