The RSVP guide
Set the reply date, then get every answer.
How to choose a reply date your caterer can work with, what to ask when guests reply, and how to remind the guests who have not answered without nagging. The dates are the ones the free Evorrah runbook uses.
Work back from the caterer’s date.
The reply date is arithmetic. Your caterer and venue need final numbers on a set day, and some answers always arrive late, so replies close a few days before that. Count back from your event:
| Event | Invitations out | Replies close | Final numbers to the caterer |
|---|---|---|---|
| A wedding, a gala, or a large guest list | 8 weeks before | 4 weeks before | 2 weeks before |
| Most parties and celebrations | 5 weeks before | 2 weeks before | 10 days before |
| A small gathering | About 3 weeks before | 1 week before | 5 days before |
Ask your caterer for their own deadline and move the reply date if theirs is earlier. Put the reply date in the invitation itself, as well as on your event website.
Ask once, when guests reply.
Every extra question makes replying slower, so ask only what changes your plans:
- Yes or no, for each named guest in the household. A name with an answer beside it is clearer than a number.
- A plus-one’s name, if you offered one.
- Allergies and dietary needs, and whether you may share them with the caterer.
- Anything that would make the day easier for them: step-free access, a seat near the door, a quieter table.
- If guests travel: whether they need transport or a place to stay.
- For a wedding or a religious service with a celebration after it: which parts they will attend, the ceremony, the celebration, or both.
Make replying easy. Give one place to reply. Invite by household, so one person can answer for everyone in it.
Remind without nagging.
- About two weeks before replies close, remind only the guests who have not answered. One line and the link. For a small gathering, five days before is enough.
- Two days before replies close, a last reminder, short and warm: replies close in two days.
- After the reply date, anyone still silent gets a personal message from you. It is the quickest way to a final number. Something like: “We are giving the caterer our numbers this week and would love you there. Can we count you in?”
Never remind the guests who have already answered, and never chase anyone in a group message.
If you are the guest.
- Reply by the date, even when the answer is no.
- Answer only for the people named on the invitation.
- Give dietary needs when you are asked, not on the day.
- A no needs no explanation. A warm line is enough.
What Evorrah does with replies.
- The free runbook counts every date on this page back from your own event date.
- On The Whole Event ($1,495) and Fully Handled ($2,995), every household is followed up until they answer, 14 and 2 days before your reply date. It stops the moment a guest replies.
- On Essentials ($495), you follow up the guests who have not answered yourself.
- An event website: included on The Whole Event and Fully Handled, $99 on Essentials. On Fully Handled it sits on your own web address.
- A helper who sees only their side, and family who can only look.
- Move up anytime and pay only the difference.