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The rehearsal
dinner.

A smaller event living inside a bigger one — which makes the guest list, not the food, the difficult part.

Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally the wedding party, immediate family and the officiant — the people who are actually at the rehearsal. At destination weddings it now often extends to everyone who has travelled, which makes it a welcome dinner instead. Decide which of the two you are holding and say so on the invitation; the guest lists are very different.

Rehearsal dinner, or welcome dinner?

Rehearsal dinner

The people at the rehearsal

Wedding party, immediate family, officiant, and often the parents of any children in the ceremony. Usually 15–40 people, usually seated, usually with speeches.

Welcome dinner

Everyone who travelled

Any guest who has flown or driven a distance, on the evening before. Larger, looser, often standing. Common at destination weddings and increasingly expected at them.

The timeline.

When	What
4–5 months before	Decide which of the two you are holding — it changes the venue and the budget
8 weeks before	Design; brief it alongside the wedding suite so it is a sibling, not a stranger
5–6 weeks before	Send, separately from the wedding invitation unless every recipient is invited to both
2 weeks before	Final numbers; the venue is usually smaller and less forgiving than the wedding's

The pieces.

The invitation — and it must look like a sibling of the wedding invitation, not a twin. One notch less formal, always.
Menus and place cards — worth it, because this is the seated meal where speeches happen and people stay put.
A seating plan — only over about thirty guests. Below that, place cards do the job.

Do not outshine the wedding. A rehearsal dinner invitation more elaborate than the wedding's confuses the hierarchy of the weekend, and guests notice. Same family, quieter voice.

Common questions

Who pays?

Traditionally the groom's parents. In practice, whoever is hosting — and the host is who appears on the invitation.

Can it go in the wedding envelope?

Only if every recipient of that envelope is invited to both. Otherwise send it separately, which avoids an awkward discovery.

Do we need speeches?

It is the traditional place for the ones that will not fit on the wedding day. Agree the order in advance and tell the speakers.

A weekend that reads as one event.

Rehearsal dinner, wedding and brunch each need their own piece, and they should be recognisably the same family of design. That is what a commissioned suite delivers.

See what a full suite includes

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