The whole communication calendar, worked backwards from the one date that matters — with the destination-wedding version and the deadlines that protect your caterer, your seating plan, and your sanity.
Wedding stationery timing is one long exercise in working backwards. The caterer needs numbers two weeks out. The seating plan needs the numbers before that. The RSVP deadline must sit far enough ahead of both, the invitation far enough ahead of the deadline, and the save the date far enough ahead of everything that nobody has booked a cruise. None of these dates is arbitrary — each one protects the date after it. Here is the whole calendar, with the reasoning attached.
| Piece | Local wedding | Destination wedding | Why then |
|---|---|---|---|
| Save the date | 6–9 months out | 9–12 months out | Guests need to hold the date before travel plans and school calendars fill it |
| Invitation mails | 8–10 weeks out | 3–4 months out | Late enough that it isn't lost, early enough for flights and hotel blocks |
| RSVP deadline | 3–4 weeks out | 4–6 weeks out | Feeds the caterer count and the seating plan with room to breathe |
| Final counts to vendors | ~2 weeks out | ~2–3 weeks out | The caterer's contract almost certainly says so — read it and put the date in the calendar |
| Seating plan locked | 1–2 weeks out | 1–2 weeks out | Escort displays, place cards and table assignments all print from this |
A save the date is a promise you cannot revise — once it mails, the date and city are public. So the only prerequisite is certainty: venue booked, date contracted. It needs almost no information (names, date, city, "invitation to follow") and it is the right moment to publish the wedding website, even a one-page version, because the first thing every recipient does is search for details. Send it six to nine months out; past nine months for a local wedding, enthusiasm outruns information and people lose the card.
Closer than six weeks reads as an afterthought and collides with postal reality; further than twelve, the card sits on a refrigerator long enough to be forgotten. Eight to ten weeks is the range that works, tilted later when everyone is local and earlier when many are not. Two practical notes from the production side: addressing and assembly reliably take a full week for a typical list (stuffing, sealing, stamping, and the second trip to the post office you didn't plan), and the assembled envelope should be weighed at the counter before you buy postage — liners, wax seals and heavy stock routinely push a suite past the standard rate.
Set the printed deadline three to four weeks before the wedding — then hold a private buffer of several days between that date and the date you truly need answers. Some fraction of every guest list misses the deadline; the buffer converts that from crisis to chore. The day after the deadline, chase personally and warmly. This is also where an online RSVP quietly earns its keep: it timestamps every reply, shows you at a glance who hasn't answered, and sends the reminder itself before the deadline rather than after it — per guest, by name. However you collect replies, the arithmetic is the same: deadline, buffer, counts, seating, in that order.
Every date moves earlier for a destination wedding, but not uniformly. The save the date does the heaviest work — nine to twelve months, with the travel information ready on the website the day it mails: hotel blocks, nearest airports, the shape of the weekend. The invitation follows at three to four months. The RSVP deadline stretches to four to six weeks out, because your final counts now govern welcome dinners and boats as well as the reception. One addition unique to destination weddings: a departure-details message about two weeks out, when the weekend schedule is final — the piece guests actually travel with.
Eight to ten weeks before the wedding for a local celebration; ten to twelve when many guests travel; three to four months for a destination wedding.
Six to nine months ahead — nine to twelve for a destination wedding — and only once the date and city are contractually certain.
Three to four weeks before the wedding, so the caterer's two-week count and the seating plan both get real numbers with time to spare.
Expect them: keep a private buffer after the printed date, then chase personally the day after. A warm message beats a second card.
Timing settled, the remaining questions are what the invitation says — solved scenario by scenario here — and what it is: paper, method, and budget, all mapped in the complete guide.